WHOREHOUND

Gucci! Marc Jacobs! Burberry! Designer Shoes! Designer Glasses! Custom Made Shirts! All his Native are well designed and damn expensive. These are his style of dressing anytime he is going out. He loves looking good in public and among his friends. He drives a Range Rover Jeep. Oh! I forgot, he loves taking pictures, go to all his social networks sites, it will prove his love for pictures. To round all I said up, he lives a very expensive life.

Who is he? He is the famous Casanova who takes pride in himself being called that. Five ladies in his yacht. Three ladies in his Bentley. And more in his numerous buildings.

Once he successfully finishes a deal, he'll make a huge sum wired to his event planner who knows what he wants and does not.

All what he uses this show off for is to flirt and engage around in sexual relations. He does not know the battle he is heading  for. Neither does he know he is heading to fall in a gutter with his eyes closed.

Every time, he moves to the next Lady, if the he wants to have His way with isn't interested or is cultured well from home.

He does not have a limit to his libido. If it is to gay around, he is ready. If it is to older women, he is more than ready because of the payment he will receive with no consideration of how rich he is already. If it is to abuse younger girls, girls way young to be called his firstborn child, he does not have interest to consider their age. If it is to Casanova with ladies around his age, this one's are always at his Beck and call so long he as money to lavish on them.

I do not know where he get this brains from.

Either his training from birth was in zigzag pattern?

Or his parents are always the busy types that left his bringing up under an already loosed house help?

Maybe his parents grew tired of correcting his wayward ways in life?

Or he was a dog locked inside for a long time that was on heat all this while, as soon as he gets an escape route, so the spree begins?

Whether his ears were just deaf to his parents’ teachings? I do not know.

Sometimes, he manages to get a condom to use. But when the heat is damn hot, I tell you, na flesh to flesh remain for this night owl.

But there are guys that are far richer than he is that manages not to get lost in the pleasures of their wealth. In fact, they still manages to live through the koñji days till marriage night. Why can't you this famous pleasure seeker  just caution yourself back into the lane? Where is your conscience Mr Skirt chaser? It is not hard I tell you, to flog your ears back into hearing.

You are enlightened but your ears are deaf into hearing about this many many Sexually Transmitted Diseases. There is Shypilis, Chlamydia, Hepitisis B and more. In fact, a recent research even proves that Gonorrhea is becoming untreatable. There is Human Immunodeficiency Virus(H.I.V) and their master which is Acquired Immune Deficiency(AIDS).

My dear whore lord, Oh! Sorry, my dear brother , it is better you hear the screams now or you will be left alone to cater for yourself with no strength.

Hear this now, all the money and expensive properties you own, will be blown into thin air when health matters hits you hard.

Written and Edited by; ADEBAYO, Busayo.

A Romance With The Devil...

It is a romance with the devil

A romance that sci rated into painful memories

Memories of heartache

Memories full of tears

Tears that became heavy raindrops

Raindrops that bathe me all over

That rippled into

The spores of my cloth

Into the holes of my flesh

Down to the feet of my soul

A kiss with the devil

A long deep kiss with the devil

A deep kiss that made the devil

Scuffle through my lengthy Indian hair

A kiss that made the devil

Roughed all over my

Hibiscus deflowered bottom

From the claws of the devil

I took a deep scratch

Which left multiple open paths for;

Blood to stream out

Then the devil took me on his Cart

Spinning, twisting and turning me

Down into the sea of fires

Round on the edges of rocks of burning coals

Ah! Ah! Ah! Auch!

Were the tunes

That I was screaming out

When I was ravished by the devil

His tojours rigid pintle

Dig through my deflowered vulva

Like a newly wedded novia

Chasing after her nuptial ring

That was suddenly flushed in the water closet

This was my romance with the devil

Written and Edited by; ADEBAYO, Busayo.

SAUCY MOTHER CONTINUES...

ACT THREE, SCENE ONE

(Shantel is already dressed for an outing with Chief in the Brothel She is staying. As soon as she steps out of her room, two other angry prostitutes were on siting position and ready to get into an argument with her). 

 

Protitute 1: (Stylishly engaging her friend in a conversation to Shantel's hearing) So my Britico friend, as I dey yarn dey go, person no go fit get market because of another person again biko?

Prostitue 2: (A britain deportee talking in her British Accent) My dear, if it's in Britain, she cannot always passes away such behaviours, we would have made her spent the rest of the past days in hell.

Prostitute 1: (Laughing out loud) My britico pal in this ashawo business, una no go kee me with all this una suggestions. We fit set her na, we go find way put something for her drink wey she go shit for days.

Prostitute 2: It is a good idea though, but for me if it definitely not enough.

Shantel: (The prostitutes laughter continues as Shantel decides to walk back and give them a reply) I knew something was definitely wrong when I met you both at my doorstep. I mean your rooms are far apart and you cannot suddenly change your rooms to a close one to mine. Look at you the always forming foreign, you couldn't make a good living for yourself while you were out there, you decided to get your two left legs deported and still, come's back into being a prostitute in Nigeria. Forming foreign for us all here, My dear, you are in Nigeria so start talking in your Naija tone. Two years abroad and you picked an accent, hush! (The second Prostitute was amazed to hear Shantel speaking in Normally) And you this one, very soon we go soon put ourselves in the rings and... (her phone rings and she picked up her call) As you can see, Chief! My very own Chief is outside to pick me up to have, anyway, una both sabi the rest of the story (She eyed them and then walks out. As soon as she opens the Door of Chiefs Jeep, She suddenly gets really tired, her body temperature begin to rise uncontrollably, and She fainted. Then Chief rushes out, bang his door and drove away, abandoning her on bare floor).

ACT THREE, SCENE TWO.

Shantel: (Few hours later, Shantel found herself on a hospital bed with a Dr and A Nurse standing before her. She coughed out) Haha! What am I doing here? Hello? Who are you? How the hell did I get here? Who brought me to this place?

Dr: Calm down Miss.

Shantel: You no sabi who dey on top here? I say na how the hell did I get here Mr? Oh! Una get Doctors robe on, what is wrong with me?

Doctor: I said calm down and listen

Shantel: Tell me wetin I wan hear? 

Nurse: Hmm! This one na were ooh!

Doctor: Common Nurse that isn't the right response to a patient(cautioning her) Are you calm now? Sure you are?

Shantel: Okay, mo ti fi ara bale oooh!

Doctor: Miss, a good Samaritan brought you here. You actually fainted due to the heat this weather is bringing. But it turned longer than the duration in which it is supposed to last, this made us to perform series of test on you  miss. This test results are out now which made me sorry for Miss, you tested positive to HIV and AIDS! (An exclamation sound is heard with Shantel reaction to the news).   

To be continued next Saturday

To The Tune of Love

My love for her
As moved to a soothing hands

The heartache in my heart
Grows and burn hotter

I thought this friendship 
Can soothe my soul with hers too
I never knew it is a deep sign of deep love
That we both is toying with

Now I am always in thoughts
Of loosing and chasing her
Into a more comfortable hands
I now waste sighs upon sighs

She has been giving me
Signs and signals
Her palms is always opened
For me to lay my burdens
And to hear the ocean of words
Pouring out of my mouth

She is always splitting up
For me to have a nice time
Without Courtship

I never knew she could wait this long
She was waiting to dance
To the tune of love

We both were at fault
She was a dump
While I never knew that;
I will later live in regrets

Written & Edited By:
ADEBAYO, Busayo.

Drifting through the Wind

She is a Nylon bag
With a glorious beginning
Beautiful She was
In her toddler days
With thoughts that
She will be reasoned
As flowers and paper paints in houses

Who knew
She will be lifters
In market arena's
With her bottom dead centre
Neglected on filthy floors
And  abandoned her beauty
On grounds decorated with filths
From rainfalls of the night

Her beauteous self was forgotten
Her glorious halo was splashed with defecates
When she was dumped on bare floor
After aiding with
Her protective layer

She found herself thrown
To rally among sands
Her awesome black colour
Suffers blasts from the sun
When a strong wind blew
She often found herself
Drifting through the wind
With no actual way forward

Is it her beautiful self
That Is left to ridicule this way?
She wishes to cry
But does not posses
Path roads for tears
To run through.

Written and Edited By:
ADEBAYO, Busayo. 

SAUCY MOTHER Conts...

ACT TWO, SCENE ONE

(This scene opens on Big Mummy, Mama boye’s late husband elder sister. She came to tell Mama Boye to caution her sauciness and show more care to her children).

Boye: (Boye is in the parlour studying the bible) Come in (Big mummy enters) Ekaaro Big Mummy

Big Mummy: Good morning my dear son. (sits down) Why aren’t you at your aluminum training?

Boye: Our Oga travelled to the East so he request all his apprentice to take a break. 

Big Mummy: I hope you are not a stubborn apprentice?

Boye: (giggles) Not at all ma.

Big Mummy: And where is that your mother?

Boye: I guess you are here to caution her too?

Big Mummy: Nkan ti moji wa shey naa niyen?

Boye: Mo gba adura ki won agbo siyin lenu.

Big Mummy: Afi ko gbo ooh! She must listen and heed to my warnings nii.

Boye: Amen ooh! Big mummy, Let me go and call her for you.

(Enters Mama Boye)

Mama Boye: Good morning big mummy

Big Mummy:Good morning

Mama Boye: E ranti wa loni? Kini ka fi shey yin lalejo?

Big Mummy: Leave that aside for now, Iwo mani mo wa ri?

Mama Boye: ok ma, mo n gbo.

Big Mummy: When was the last time you went to visit your son Jide in the police station?

Mama Boye: Big mummy, shey oro yen lewa bami so?

Big Mummy: You are not answering? What are the plans you are making for his release?

Mama Boye:(Rebellious reply) On your first question, I haven’t gone to check him and the second question, none.

Big Mummy: Shey iya naa de ni iwo yi sha?

Mama Boye:Mummy, shey eh mo wipe omo itiju lomo yen ni? Omo orun oshi! Ki awon olopa yen kan ma mulo. That is my take on this issue.

Big Mummy: That’s the second discussion I came for. You don’t know they’ve given you a name in this neighbourhood? They tagged you Mama Boye elepe.

Mama Boye: Ehn Ehn! Shey eri awon yen, won ma shey oribu gbeyin aye won ni! Ekun oni tan ni iran won.

Big Mummy: It is me big mummy that you are answering in that manner? Ehn mama boye? Your late husband elder sister?

Mama Boye: I know it is you (rebellious reply).

Big Mummy: They told me you wouldn’t listen, and you have just proved that yourself. What I want you to know is me and your husband that are the only children of our parent and your husband is the male born son. Ma se epe le awon omo mi mo, if you are not ready to train them responsibly, awa ti a le se wa. Don’t place curse my kids anymore, ok? (Walks out angrily)

Mama Boye: Ewa ko won, shey e mo wipe eyinle ko won sinu fun osu mesan.

(Enters boye)

Boye: shey eri mummy, oloun maje ki loose gbogbo wa. Shey emi ni mo shin faramo yin? Eni pe

Loose mi. I promise to move out very soon.

Aging Youth

In here
I was conceived
In here
Within this turmoil
My head got thrown in
In here
With innocence and naively
I started aging
In here
I was mishandled into the err of teenage nativity
In here
Before I got handed
In here
Before i deviated into the worl
In here
Caution took hold
And In here
I rewrote my story.

Recruitment Pressure (PT TWO)

The early stages of employment in Nigeria of today will always get you excited like an early morning rose with young and pretty petals springing out one after each other. Always giving us hope of an independent, responsible life with the joy of giving your parents less stress over you.

After a successful submission of your application, months and month goes before you get a ring of invitation to come and sit for the interview examination. This happens after you have even lost all hope and given up that the interview will not be holding again. Excitement was all over you that you jump up while singing songs of thanksgiving unexpectedly.

Yes, you sat for this interview examination, your pride and ego gets higher when you heard that you aced the exam. Before this, your feet were full of chatters before you were called in to sit for the examination. You were indifference of what to expect. “Wow! With this result, I am sure that I will perform this same way in the forth coming oral interview”, these thoughts were running across your mind.

First month gone, second month till you start counting years. In fact, another close up happens on the several new applications that you have submitted.

Some have even opted for a salary far below your responsibilities, so long that you own a mouth to feed. Then, the debts collectors as begin to ring your sell taped handset day in day out while several knocks you constantly receive on your cracked doors with holes patched with parts of your bed to hinder entrance of mosquito’s to have access and sulk your remaining blood that as fell below far below your right PCV. Now where is the money to cater for Malaria?

Finally, while lying on your tattered bed, a message enters when you are thinking of how to tackle all debts that is hanging around your neck. “Ohhhhh! It might be someone I owe”, you say. Sluggishly, you pick up the phone, read the latest message and you had another jumping higher than the one you did before with a job that is not yet yours. Well, it’s good and advisable to be thankful to God to foster Our Lord in making the huge job yours.

Wow! Look at you looking so dashing like a groom on the interview date. You put on your newest office attire. Your shirt and trouser is starched to the extent that it can pierce one’s fresh fleshly body part if touched. You pick out your black shoes that as being covered with dust that is enough to mix with cement when building a whole house. You dusted if off that it made you sneeze for the longest time then polished it to the darkest it can be and you saved foam from your tattered bed for this special occasion to make the shoe shine like it’s in a competition with the sun. Why will I leave your silky most expensive tie out, dashing sky blue with patches of white?

As you stepped out, the neigbhours were gossiping that look at this debtor looking most expensive as if he is on his way to pay a bride price. You heard them mocking you but the interview were all that you had in mind and not pay any attention to them.

At the oral interview office, you kept your head high, straight and focused. But behind all this, you are sweating within down to your soul. Your feet chatter more that the secretary asked if you are ok. The feet chattering stopped for a while with the caution but resumes back to duty again. “I pray these panels will ask what I have studied”, that is what is going through your mind. You were called in when it gets to your turn. With the entire past Oral interview, all salutations were no problem for you at all. 

Unfortunately, the questions they asked aren’t part of what you prepared but with your past experiences in interviews, you managed to scale through successfully. And you couldn’t read their countenance when you were told that they will get back to you.

Once you stepped out of the location, the coldest breeze fell on you till you received another SMS that says the job is yours. Tears streamed down your cheek unknowingly. Your soul breathes dawn breezes to your body from within out to your last layer of skin.

Before I stopped, all this long term interviews mostly happen with Nigerian Federal and State Government Job Openings. I haven’t experienced this with Private Organisations I think? But with the experience I’ve had with private organisations, it has never been this long. So I want to plead with Our Country which I am so patriotic about to please and please, make such interviews to have a lesser duration of time.

And I leave with this final statement that says “such interviews leaves us with a kind of itchy feeling that later turn the whole body holes to be filled with Spores”.

WRITTEN AND EDITED BY: ADEBAYO, Busayo.