SAUCY MOTHER Conts...

ACT TWO, SCENE ONE

(This scene opens on Big Mummy, Mama boye’s late husband elder sister. She came to tell Mama Boye to caution her sauciness and show more care to her children).

Boye: (Boye is in the parlour studying the bible) Come in (Big mummy enters) Ekaaro Big Mummy

Big Mummy: Good morning my dear son. (sits down) Why aren’t you at your aluminum training?

Boye: Our Oga travelled to the East so he request all his apprentice to take a break. 

Big Mummy: I hope you are not a stubborn apprentice?

Boye: (giggles) Not at all ma.

Big Mummy: And where is that your mother?

Boye: I guess you are here to caution her too?

Big Mummy: Nkan ti moji wa shey naa niyen?

Boye: Mo gba adura ki won agbo siyin lenu.

Big Mummy: Afi ko gbo ooh! She must listen and heed to my warnings nii.

Boye: Amen ooh! Big mummy, Let me go and call her for you.

(Enters Mama Boye)

Mama Boye: Good morning big mummy

Big Mummy:Good morning

Mama Boye: E ranti wa loni? Kini ka fi shey yin lalejo?

Big Mummy: Leave that aside for now, Iwo mani mo wa ri?

Mama Boye: ok ma, mo n gbo.

Big Mummy: When was the last time you went to visit your son Jide in the police station?

Mama Boye: Big mummy, shey oro yen lewa bami so?

Big Mummy: You are not answering? What are the plans you are making for his release?

Mama Boye:(Rebellious reply) On your first question, I haven’t gone to check him and the second question, none.

Big Mummy: Shey iya naa de ni iwo yi sha?

Mama Boye:Mummy, shey eh mo wipe omo itiju lomo yen ni? Omo orun oshi! Ki awon olopa yen kan ma mulo. That is my take on this issue.

Big Mummy: That’s the second discussion I came for. You don’t know they’ve given you a name in this neighbourhood? They tagged you Mama Boye elepe.

Mama Boye: Ehn Ehn! Shey eri awon yen, won ma shey oribu gbeyin aye won ni! Ekun oni tan ni iran won.

Big Mummy: It is me big mummy that you are answering in that manner? Ehn mama boye? Your late husband elder sister?

Mama Boye: I know it is you (rebellious reply).

Big Mummy: They told me you wouldn’t listen, and you have just proved that yourself. What I want you to know is me and your husband that are the only children of our parent and your husband is the male born son. Ma se epe le awon omo mi mo, if you are not ready to train them responsibly, awa ti a le se wa. Don’t place curse my kids anymore, ok? (Walks out angrily)

Mama Boye: Ewa ko won, shey e mo wipe eyinle ko won sinu fun osu mesan.

(Enters boye)

Boye: shey eri mummy, oloun maje ki loose gbogbo wa. Shey emi ni mo shin faramo yin? Eni pe

Loose mi. I promise to move out very soon.

Aging Youth

In here
I was conceived
In here
Within this turmoil
My head got thrown in
In here
With innocence and naively
I started aging
In here
I was mishandled into the err of teenage nativity
In here
Before I got handed
In here
Before i deviated into the worl
In here
Caution took hold
And In here
I rewrote my story.

Recruitment Pressure (PT TWO)

The early stages of employment in Nigeria of today will always get you excited like an early morning rose with young and pretty petals springing out one after each other. Always giving us hope of an independent, responsible life with the joy of giving your parents less stress over you.

After a successful submission of your application, months and month goes before you get a ring of invitation to come and sit for the interview examination. This happens after you have even lost all hope and given up that the interview will not be holding again. Excitement was all over you that you jump up while singing songs of thanksgiving unexpectedly.

Yes, you sat for this interview examination, your pride and ego gets higher when you heard that you aced the exam. Before this, your feet were full of chatters before you were called in to sit for the examination. You were indifference of what to expect. “Wow! With this result, I am sure that I will perform this same way in the forth coming oral interview”, these thoughts were running across your mind.

First month gone, second month till you start counting years. In fact, another close up happens on the several new applications that you have submitted.

Some have even opted for a salary far below your responsibilities, so long that you own a mouth to feed. Then, the debts collectors as begin to ring your sell taped handset day in day out while several knocks you constantly receive on your cracked doors with holes patched with parts of your bed to hinder entrance of mosquito’s to have access and sulk your remaining blood that as fell below far below your right PCV. Now where is the money to cater for Malaria?

Finally, while lying on your tattered bed, a message enters when you are thinking of how to tackle all debts that is hanging around your neck. “Ohhhhh! It might be someone I owe”, you say. Sluggishly, you pick up the phone, read the latest message and you had another jumping higher than the one you did before with a job that is not yet yours. Well, it’s good and advisable to be thankful to God to foster Our Lord in making the huge job yours.

Wow! Look at you looking so dashing like a groom on the interview date. You put on your newest office attire. Your shirt and trouser is starched to the extent that it can pierce one’s fresh fleshly body part if touched. You pick out your black shoes that as being covered with dust that is enough to mix with cement when building a whole house. You dusted if off that it made you sneeze for the longest time then polished it to the darkest it can be and you saved foam from your tattered bed for this special occasion to make the shoe shine like it’s in a competition with the sun. Why will I leave your silky most expensive tie out, dashing sky blue with patches of white?

As you stepped out, the neigbhours were gossiping that look at this debtor looking most expensive as if he is on his way to pay a bride price. You heard them mocking you but the interview were all that you had in mind and not pay any attention to them.

At the oral interview office, you kept your head high, straight and focused. But behind all this, you are sweating within down to your soul. Your feet chatter more that the secretary asked if you are ok. The feet chattering stopped for a while with the caution but resumes back to duty again. “I pray these panels will ask what I have studied”, that is what is going through your mind. You were called in when it gets to your turn. With the entire past Oral interview, all salutations were no problem for you at all. 

Unfortunately, the questions they asked aren’t part of what you prepared but with your past experiences in interviews, you managed to scale through successfully. And you couldn’t read their countenance when you were told that they will get back to you.

Once you stepped out of the location, the coldest breeze fell on you till you received another SMS that says the job is yours. Tears streamed down your cheek unknowingly. Your soul breathes dawn breezes to your body from within out to your last layer of skin.

Before I stopped, all this long term interviews mostly happen with Nigerian Federal and State Government Job Openings. I haven’t experienced this with Private Organisations I think? But with the experience I’ve had with private organisations, it has never been this long. So I want to plead with Our Country which I am so patriotic about to please and please, make such interviews to have a lesser duration of time.

And I leave with this final statement that says “such interviews leaves us with a kind of itchy feeling that later turn the whole body holes to be filled with Spores”.

WRITTEN AND EDITED BY: ADEBAYO, Busayo.

RECRUITMENT PROCESS (PT ONE)

Intro: I need to write on this because of the individuals that will be experiencing it later in life.

What is recruitment? It can be simply defined as the action of listing people who wants to gain employed into a particular organization.

Another definition is the process of finding and hiring the best qualified candidate for a job opening.

Now, let us get to the main business of recruitment process. Recruitment process includes analyzing the requirements of a job, attracting employees to the job, screening and selecting applicants, then hiring and integrating the new employee into the organization.

Personnel Management: This is the part of the process of management which is concerned with the management of workforce in order to ensure the physical and psychological well-being of employees, so that they can give their maximum contribution as efficient and effective personnel’s.

So, it is the business of the personnel management department to get people employed into an organisation before the newly employed candidate can also be part of the personnel management team.

Recruitment Process: In employment and staffing, we must determine precisely what the job requirements are; for example, in Marketing Department, people will be needed to perform such activities as market research, advertising, et al. After the determination of what is to be done in the organisation, the Manager now embarks on organising it so that each job can provides a reasonable contribution in diversifiable ways.

Staff Recruitment: The various stages of recruiting staffs are as follows;

1.     Identification of Vacancies.

2.     Placement of Job Advertisements.

3.     Qualified Candidates now respond.

4.     Received Applications gets shortlisted.

5.     The shortlisted Candidates now gets invited for Interview Procedure.

6.     Interview proper now takes place.

7.     Qualified Candidates now gets called to collect his or her Appointment Letter.  

Conclusion: With this short write up, School leavers searching for jobs may have been adequately prepared and enlightened on Recruitment, Selection and appointment procedure.

Written By: ADEBAYO,  Busayo.

CHILD ABUSE

(A slave who is already late for school because of all his house chores is dressed in his tattered school uniform was on the road calling a bike transport commuter with his boiled egg to sell in school so has to earn little money to get a new school uniform).

SLAVE: Bike! Bike!(A bike stopped and the boy got on it and the bike man drove off).

(A stone throw from the school, a traffic light hold them down with a lot of bike transport commuters).

BIKE MAN: Boy, na wetin dey that bowl wey you carry for hand?

SLAVE:Am almost getting to my school where I will alight from your bike and pay you off sir.

BIKE MAN: You no fit answer my question?

SLAVE: Sir: I don’t know what concern of yours is it sir.

BIKE MAN: You no fit answer?

SLAVE: Sir, am already late for my school and look around, I don’t see any other bikes questioning their passengers like this.

BIKE MAN: Hmm! Hmm! I go show you wetin rude kids like you dey always experience on a Monday morning like this. (The bike man got off his bike, threw the eggs away and started to beat the slave boy. A woman also on a bike had nothing to do but to intervene).

WOMAN: Leave this kid now, what has he done that warrant this act? He is already late for school now, haba! (Successfully, she was able to separate them and the school from afar security sighted what was happening, they were brought to the school premises while the boy was crying and picking up his scattered eggs on the floor).

In school premises…

WOMAN: This is child abuse, look at what this kid is putting on; tattered school uniform. That does not worry him, he took to his strength making sales in order to get himself a better uniform and to worsening it all, this transport commuter is exploiting his weakness and respect for elderly ones.

Written and Edited by

ADEBAYO, Busayo. 

SAUCY MOTHER

 SCENE ONE OPENS

(Two uniformed police officers dragging off the last born of Mama Boye while Mama Boye was encouraging the police officers and busy causing her son (Jide)

Mama Boye:Ema mu lo ooh! Oni banuje omo.

Jide: Ah! Maami

Mama Boye: Don’t call me, disgraceful bastard.

Police Officer 1:(boots him to move forward)

Jide:Maami, won ma n mumi lo ni? They are taking me away.

Mama Boye: Let them arrest you, ki oriburuku tio nko ran inu ile mi jade.

Jide:Maami!

Police Officer 2: See, I will gun you down here (lashes Jide with his belt).

Jide:Yeeeeeeeh! Ah! Mama Jide! Won mumi lo re?

Mama Boye:Jide, after this occurrence, I will use broom to sweep off your bad feet. (Jide was dragged off the stage. Mama Boye faces the audience) Ki lo shey eyin araadugbo oni yeye yii? ki lo kan yin?kilode ti en fi wa shey iran wo? He is my son, and i’ll handle him whatever way I deem it fit. (Hisses)

…..

SCENE TWO

(This scene opens on Mama Boye in front of where she’s stood looking out for a small kid to send on errand)

Mama Boye:Shey ko wa si enikan kan kin ran ni ise ni? Why is this environment this quiet today? (A male small boy passes by) Ah! Oluwa seun, omoyii!

Junior:(feeling edgy) are you calling me ma?

Mama Boye: Yes my son.

Junior:Ehn Ehn! My name is junior ma

Mama Boye: Huh! Ok. Please, I want you to help me buy kerosene at Mama vero’s place.

Junior: Ah! Am sorry ma, but my mother told me not to be answering you again talk less you sending me on errand.

Mama Boye: Who is that your mother? Abi aye n se eyin meje ji ni? Haha! Abi oloribu ru ku leyin meje ji ni?

Junior’s Mother: Emi ni iya eh ooh! Gbogbo epe ti eti se, ko pada si enu eni ti o se. Oya Junior, I want to be seeing your feet on the way to your home.

Mama Boye: Hmm! Apoda kuku ni iya ati omo. Elese oshi meji. I think I have to go myself.

(Enters Shantel)

Shantel:(making a phone call)alright Chief, so when will you come and pick me up tomorrow? (Giggles) Chief Chief, you’re naughty. That same old place jawe, Alright, I’ll be expecting you around 10 to 11am, alright darl, later. Mama Boye, e kasan(sluggishly)

Mama Boye:Yewande! Yewande to so ra e ni Shantel. Ikan jale(thief), ikan so ara e di ashewo(prostitute), eyin omo yii, ekan shafe ma pamilekun.

Shantel: Mama Boye, omi po loju yin.

Mama Boye:koni da fun enu ti ofi da mi loun yen. Oni so lenu omo. Alagbere.

Shantel:Ewo Mama boye, ejo le fero, oroki lefe ta, if you won’t allow me sleep well tonight, it’s not too late for me to leave.

Mama Boye:oloshi ooni ranu omo, ashewo(while Shantel walks inside).

(Enters Boye)

Boye:(angry) Mother! Maami! Maami! Why are you always like this?

Mama Boye: Like what omo mi?

Boye: Am just coming from Jide in the police station, and he told me everything you said the day they arrested him.

Mama Boye: So what?

Boye: Mum, where is your sense of motherhood?

Mama Boye:Boye? Boye? Shoara e ooh! It is because your head is straight, oun ni mi o shey kin wu iwasi e bi awon aburo e ooh!

Boye:Tani e kin shey si? Be shey se se ni yen ti…ema je kin soro(gently walks inside in regret).

WRITTEN BY: ADEBAYO, Busayo.

(Continues briefly in a week time)... 

IF YOU ENJOY THE READING, COMMENT YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT IT TO ENCOURAGE ME OR ADJUST THE WAY I WRITES. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK AND THANK YOU FOR SPARING SMALL TIME TO READ AND GIVE ME SUPPORT.

Beginning of My Foes

Surgical Blades
Yellow Cranulars
Giving Sets
And stiches
That makes untraceable Incisions
All this were the;
Beginning of my Foes.

I was shattered
Separated into countable pieces
And pierced into pieces
With the dogs going in and out of my helpless body
Leaving with Livers, Intestines and parts of Kidneys.

Happy for a short duration
But all this took a new turn
Crying loudly till the
Tears weren't visible anymore
But screams can be heard in another planet
I thought this will end soon
But the age now gets wider.

I wasted heavy sighs
Over my deep thinking
Suicidal thoughts became friends and folks
Tears became heavy raindrops
That ripple through the clothes
Which bathes me without missing
Crooks and cranny parts of my body.

Even witnesses
Can see through my thick skin
Down to my heart
Beating and breathing restlessly.

Suddenly
I had a scary thought
My soul glimpsed
While covered in white
In a gathering full of tears
Elated a speechless frozen body
My soul rushed to take
A glimpse of this cold fellow
The soul fainted
Because He saw himself
Being celebrated mournfully.

NO! I refuse
I will not leave
And bid this my life farewell
I cannot leave without fulfilling
My  dreams and aspirations
In misery and say
This world would be happier
With my space empty
My smiles will/shall
Continue to radiate this world.